The Clinic

The spacing when I copy over to word press on these stories isn’t very good. I apologize for that. I’ll try to take time in the future to edit them a little more. For this one I had no idea where the story was going from one line to the next. I still don’t really, but I wrote it. that counts for something.

Writing Prompt: First Person Story
Some people love first person some people hate it. Either way you’re using it today.
The Prompt
Write a story in the first person
Tips
In many ways, first person is the most natural way to tell a story because it’s how we tell stories all day long. “How was your commute?” “Where did you park?” “What did you do this weekend?” All of these questions invite stories. You answer them every day, in the first person.
Hopefully, as a storyteller, have good answers to those questions and can entertain the people around you, spinning yarns and put your everyday stories to good use. Or maybe you’re the type of person who hates those questions and clams up because you’d rather be alone with a pencil. Either way you do know how to tell a story in the first person.
The most important thing to remember about first-person is that the reader is only ever privy to the thoughts of the person telling the story. They can infer, from other people other people’s expressions, what they’re feeling, but you can’t know for certain. You can’t tell me exactly what your spouse was thinking when you took a wrong turn. You can tell me what they said and how they said it….
Think of the character whose head you would like to get inside. It can be somebody you already understand, or it can be someone you don’t yet understand. (Picking a politician from a party you don’t support support, or one of their supporters, is an obvious way of finding a character that you simply don’t understand).
Take one tiny incident from this character’s life. Have them describe the incident and the effect it had on them. Show us that the effect. Walk us through it.
The character can be self-aware or self delusional or mixture of the two.
There’s a growing trend to write first person present tense. It’s good for keeping tension high if we don’t know whether the characters going to survive at the end of the thriller, but it can feel a little foreign. Feel free to stick with past tense.
If you’re having trouble coming up with this style, browse some books that are written this way: thrillers and mysteries, young adult fiction chick lit. Or read a sample of To Kill A Mockingbird.
Go!

<— Write Below This Line —>

I can’t believe this is happening again.
“Sir, I’m sorry but you’re going to have to go wait in the other room.”
“I know. If you check your paperwork you’ll see this isn’t my first rodeo.” I shouldn’t snap at him like this. He’s just doing his job. Still, this is getting ridiculous.
“Then I’m sure you understand why you need to go wait in the other room sir.”
He’s getting close. I wonder what happens if I make him push me. Of course, I probably shouldn’t go let things get that out of hand.
“Alright, alright already. I’m going.” I wonder if he’ll notice… K, I’m going to turn and start walking. I’ll pause by that trash over there and maybe I can drop one of these.
Here we are, looks like he’s talking to that woman over there now, just a quick flip of the wrist. Good. Nobody seems to have noticed. Now I just need to hope they don’t have fancy counter-measures like that facility on the other side of town did.
Why does everyone look at this door when people come out? I hate seeing the disappointment on their faces. It’s always the same. I’ve been in a lot of these clinics. There’s never good news coming out of these doors.
“I feel ‘ya man.”
Who is this guy? He thinks he knows me. He thinks I’m here for the same reason, as if I’m really one of them. That’s good. If I have these guys fooled, maybe I have them fooled on the other side too. Honestly I’m surprised they haven’t stopped letting me come to the clinics yet. “Thanks. Strength be with you.”
“And Courage with you.”
Hehe. He actually sounded like he believes this crap. I can’t wait to see what happens when the top is blown off it all. Let’s see what my little friend can find.
Phone out. I bet it looks like I’m playing some kind of game. I guess I am, a high stakes game at that. I want to listen in, better get the headphones out too.
[Muffled speaking.]
Dang-it! I forgot to fix the microphone after the last clinic. Oh well. Let’s see, nobody looking this way. Based on the maps I want to go over through that door. I hope it’s light.
[Thunk.]
Ooops. I hope nobody heard that. I better hide for a second just in case.
What’s that? Man! Even I can’t help but look at the door every time someone comes out. I don’t even know who that chick I brought in is. I think I’d recognize her, but what then? Anyhow, looks like nobody followed me.
Next I need to take a right, a left, down a ramp, two more rights, and there should be three doors on the right. I need the first one.
I’m glad they don’t have the same security here, but man this is easy. There’s the door. Now, how do I get it open.
“Wha?!”
It’s that guy next me, he just got tapped. They are so good at sneaking in and tapping people. I guess it’s because we all watch that door so closely. Why do we do it though? I’ve never heard of a happy story from a clinic. Not from a person anyhow. The newscasters tell stories about those who have made it all the time, but I’ve never met one and nobody I talk to has either. Earl, Bruce, Janet. They all went to track one of these survivors down. That was two years ago and I still haven’t heard from any of them. Maybe I’m next? Once they figure out what I’m trying to do?
Yes, got it open. Now. Let’s see how this room is laid out. Time to float.
[Click]
What was that? Wait, did I just see the door shut? Is there someone in here? Did I get found out? I don’t see anything. Maybe I better set down and hide in a corner just in case. I’m so close. I just know something big is going to happen today.
Hmm, that’s odd. I thought I set down. What am I floating up for? Oh crap. I need to –
<tap tap tap> “Mr. Pentrose?”
Wait, on the screen. Is that the chick I brought in picking the thing up? Why is she smiling?
“Mr. Pentrose, everyone here believe I am now quietly telling you that I have bad news and you need to come with me.”
I stood and turned. She looks familiar somehow.
“I do need you to come with me, and there is bad news. Unfortunately it’s not the news you’ve heard before. This time is a little different.”
“Umm, do I know you?”
She’s smiling at me now, that same kind of knowing little smile the chick on the screen just now had. “Right this way Mr. Pentrose. Or was that Mr. Legbottom. Mr. Salvadore? Maybe Mr. Renault. I think we’ll just go ahead and settle on Frank for now.”
Crap. This is not a good sign. I wonder if I can make the door. She doesn’t seem to fast. But, where do I know her from?
“Right this way. I think you’ll find the comfort rooms much nicer here than they were at Legacy Clinic. Of course, this time you aren’t staying there. We’ll just be passing through.”
That’s it! This is the chick I found and brought to Legacy Clinic. How the hell did she end up here? “What are you doing here? I thought”
“It doesn’t really matter what you thought Frank. This little game has gone on long enough. You’ll get some answers now, but I don’t think you’ll like them.”
I felt something sharp on my arm. No running now.