I have seen the future. In it the snow doth recede.
According to prophecy when the snow doth recede there shall be grass beneath.
And this grass shall grow. And it shall not be good.

We must prevent this grass from attaining great heights. We must stop it mere inches from the ground. We must correct it when it tries to rise past the station we have designated for it. This duty was mine. Now, should you prove worthy, it is yours.

To accomplish this feat I offer you the Spinning Blade of Correction.

This is a good blade. It has served me well for 6 years.
It spins fast, powered by explosions up to 190cc.
It has large wheels in the back with five corrective height settings.
It corrects the grass 22″ at a time. It can collect the pieces in an attached bag, spit them off to the side, or (my favorite) mince them and let them lay next to their brethren as a warning.
It starts with a pull, sometimes two. It also has a key which draws on arcane reserves, but the mystical cord of reserve filling has long been broken. A new cord should refill the power of the key.
It pulls itself forward when taken firmly by the handle. It is easy to tame as selectively releasing part of the handle preserves the spinning while removing the forward pull.
The inside can easily be cleansed of the clingy grass pieces via a magical water portal in the outer shell.
We have writings that came with the Spinning Blade of Correction and tell many of it’s secrets.

The above is most of an ad for our lawnmower that I’m thinking of putting on craigslist this afternoon. (I need the engine specs and some pictures.) I could just do a simple “here’s a lawnmower, please buy it” ad – but this felt more fun. Also, writing practice. I’m pretty sure there’s a writer somewhere in here. 30+ blog posts between OurAgileJourney.com, this one, and a previous blog I had support that theory, if only loosely. (Extra credit for anyone that can find the old one. I just checked, it’s still online. Maybe even a free dinner/drink. Oh – and if you actually knew it when it was actively being maintained then you don’t count for the “contest.”)

What do you think, should I go with this? (The title of the ad would not match this article, it would clearly indicate a lawnmower – probably.) Should I drop the “fun” and go conservative? Do you want to buy our lawnmower?

EDIT — The original title was “Spinning Blades of Death.” I toned it down for Craigslist, just to be safe.